My Steamy Story: Make a story about a man who is bored an...

My Story Time:

Okay, so, full tea, my man Leo was having a serious main character crisis. He was low-key obsessed with his dick size, which was a solid, totally average five inches. But in his head? It was a tragedy. He’d be like, “It’s just… fine,” and get all in his feels, convinced it was the reason his love life was mid. One night, after a truly tragic ghosting situation, he went full simp for the universe and wished on a star for things to be “different.”

Bestie, he got his wish. But the universe has a seriously shady sense of humor.

He woke up the next morning and things felt… bulkier down there. He whipped it out and, sheesh, it was still five inches. He was ready to yeet himself into the sun, thinking the wish did nothing. But then he went to put on his favorite jeans. And oh. my. god. The bulge situation was iconic. Like, obscene. He had to wear sweatpants to the grocery store and the looks he got? Unreal. It was because, plot twist, the average dick size for every other man on Earth was now 2.5 inches. Clothes, minds, everything had adjusted. Leo was suddenly packing heat by comparison and had no idea why.

The catch? The universe extracted its price. The first time he hooked up with someone after his glow up, a cute barista who was practically drooling over his new-found “drip,” it was over in, like, two pumps. I’m not even joking. He got inside me, and I barely had time to moan before he was finishing. He looked so shook, and I was just like, “Oof, big yikes, you okay?” He had no clue he’d traded stamina for size. The ultimate clapback from the cosmos.