My Story Time:

OMG, besties, buckle up because this story is spicy AF and I’m still shook. So, there I was at the beach with my classmate Jessica—total baddie, btw—and our very unfortunate plus-one, Ben. Now, Ben? Bless his heart, but let’s just say he was packing a peepee the size of a gummy bear. No cap.

Jessica and I were low-key roasting him all day (IYKYK), calling his little weewee a "baby carrot" and giggling every time he tried to flex. Then, out of nowhere, Jessica gets this iconic idea. She whips out this boujee pink pacifier she had in her bag (don’t ask) and dangles it in front of Ben’s face like, "Aww, does wittle baby need his binkie?"

Y’ALL. The way his face turned red. But here’s the real tea—he was into it. Like, hard. Or, well, as hard as baby dick could get, anyway.

Next thing I know, Jessica’s pulling down his swim trunks, and I’m cackling because his babydick is literally twitching like a startled worm. I had to touch it—just one finger, like poking a button—and he whimpers, "Pwease don’t tease me!"

Cue both of us losing it. Jessica full-on taped a diaper around him (don’t ask where she got it, main character energy), and we made him crawl in the sand while we called him "wittle pissy boy."

Best part? He came in the diaper from just that. Big yikes. But also… slay?

Anyway, period. Jessica and I? Goated humiliators. Ben? Forever our simp. ✨